Everyones relationship is different. It is a dynamic that exists between personalities. It is a wave that oscillates at different intervals and surges and recoils. To make it work, one has to be always aware of its’ unique nature. It is fragile.
With the death of our son Mark, Kara and I seem to struggle as to how to come to grips with it in the same way. We each have had the “anger” feelings. We have had the “why us” and “what did we do wrong” conversations. We can sit and seem to talk in agreement for hours and yet in the end do not in many respects feel the same thing about what happened.
I seem to perceive things in a here and now mentality, meaning I tend to get more worried about our family continuing to be happy and comfortable (preservation). Kara seems to, at least in my estimate, be more able to focus more on the actual loss of our son. The difference in perspective in itself is a dichotomy.
Kara and Mark Swayne
